The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo.

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Welcome to prime time, bitch!

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Earth. Even the word sounded strange to me now... unfamiliar. How long had I been gone? How long had I been back? Did it matter? I tried to find the rhythm of the world where I used to live. I followed the current. I was silent, attentive, I made a conscious effort to smile, nod, stand, and perform the millions of gestures that constitute life on earth. I studied these gestures until they became reflexes again. But I was haunted by the idea that I remembered her wrong, and somehow I was wrong about everything.

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Playing to lose is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals.

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You're a grandmother-fucker.

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Lets shoot 'dis fuckar'!

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Gentlemen! Let's broaden our minds. Lawrence?

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Batonga! Batonga! Batonga!

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No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

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Shucks mister, you're even hungrier than I am.

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love and depression... a synonym?

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Christmas? Christmas means dinner. Dinner means death! Death means carnage; Christmas means carnage!

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In a musical, nothing dreadful ever happens.

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Then they cut your dick in half, and serve it to a pig! And though it hurts, you'll laugh, when you dance a dick-less jig!

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I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it.

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[Two men discussing how they are going to end their sessions with their shirk that they both share.]

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What do you mean you told her to stop? Who stops a whack-off?!

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What the fuck has happened to our country?! Since when did a bunch of white people pay to see a beaner perform, our best golfer is back, and our best rapper is white?!

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I don't know what I'm becoming, but I know one thing for sure... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

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You drink that drink! Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you're going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?

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You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.

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I had two big accidents in my life, Diego: the trolley and you. You are by far the worst.

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Janie, what happened? You and I used to be pals.

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It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency.

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For some miraculous reason, it's a wonderful feeling having a teacher you've seen dance naked in front of a mirror.

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No, no, see. This is a really shit idea. Know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

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Yeah, the government has a limo service. The number is 1-800-Fuckoff. Have a nice day.

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If you are not selfish. you cannot survive!

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You know, I planted that crystal meth just to meet you. Back then I was so shy.

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Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.

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